America Already Won The Civil War Memo To A Nation
With this gratefully already precedented undertaking that may at first seem naive and idealistic, we will first prove the two party "team sports mindset" currently compromising our collective integrity as a nation does not serve our united interests.
Then, even more importantly, we will articulate the universal truth that this woefully non-working model of politics or statesmanship should have no tangible meaning in a united country that already survived its greatest test of endurance in a Civil War that could have brought everything crumbling faster than the forthcoming legion of A.I. machines gone rogue that will at least atomize our civilization in the most efficient and probably cost-effective way possible.
Team Sports Politics
In professional, organized sports we often have two teams engaging in a ritual of competitive athleticism, and also a dash here and there of genetically-favored individuals, like Victor Wembanyama, whose very evident, well above average height of seven foot four inches, endows him with a useful asset in dominating, by comparison, his vertically-challenged peers. In a basketball matchup, under parameters that undeniably favor those naturally blessed with height-privilege, all human-sized contestants will encounter very obvious difficulties in preventing this stupefyingly enormous mass of virile manhood from dunking on them and owning them all like bitches and hos, like any average-sized parent might best a small child in a similar display of overwhelming, almost ridiculous, superior capabilities.
Each professional team often represents a city, even if more than a few of the players have been traded from other teams in other cities they once represented, and have now come to be ambassadors of their new second or perhaps third city. Thus represented, these athletes, these new gladiators, will assemble like a militant force and, in our desperate hour, when our city has not won an NBA Championship since 1973, or in fact any major professional sports title in more than a decade, meet the enemy, made our natural born foes by geographical circumstance, the abhorrent citizens of whatever rival city the fates have selected to challenge our quest for greatness and much-needed redemption.
The ultimate goal of this contest of strength, agility, and teamwork, beyond the inherent entertainment of such displays, are the ever sought-after, more valuable than digital dollars, hallowed "bragging rights," a license to express the, of course, now empirically proven fact that, "My city rules and yours does not, in fact my city and all its citizens now dominate all the galaxy of cities and townships ever constructed or conceived by anyone anywhere in our known universe."
These bragging rights, a common observance among the five-year-olds who invented the whole practice, are perhaps a necessary part of our modern and still marginally civilized society, giving the frustrated masses a way to express their latent, deeply repressed insecurities with counter claims attesting to their now notorious superiority as compensation. These once second-class citizens of the sporting world, who for decades carried themselves in shame, are now the incontestable rulers of the athletic universe, their invincible army of oversized, hugely muscled and, of course, steroid-free competitors, having bested the other grossly overpaid team of likewise physical attributes.
All of these arena-filled sports events carry with them the manufactured, artificial sense of warlike conflict, as the most ardent adherents to these contests watch their gathered militia of heroes with bated breath, the almost paralyzing fear of defeat pervading every inch of their existence with no less intensity than war-torn countries under imminent threat of invasion. With victory comes the instant, undeniable validation that their side has proven its inborn primacy, and with loss only the intolerable reality of the vanquished.
All this vicarious, imagined glory that will restore balance to all things in our universe when it manifests, is a perfectly acceptable, and arguably necessary part of human existence. For myself, I religiously followed the heroic doings of super-powered vigilantes, and these guys don't even exist! At least the overpaid athletes are actual living persons who can do things in our shared dimension of reality and not a motley collection of genetically or radioactively enhanced humanitarian do-gooders created by some geeks with minimal social skills. And there is nothing wrong with these practices of manufacturing imaginary wars for the purpose of resolving them and thereby find some relief from the obstacles that daily impede our progress. But there is something terribly amiss when this insatiable need for warfare infects our politics. This tendency of nearly all humans to take up arms, or in many cases gaming joysticks, to contend with all the aliens who threaten the earth and, in some cases, herald the coming of Galactus, has no place in our policy making activities. It has been said many times before that we need much less politics and more statesmanship. This sentiment is very easy to say or type, but can it ever come to fruition? Absolutely. There is no reason we cannot have exceedingly more bipartisan agreement and significantly less divisive, doltishly counter-productive efforts to win a battle that should not even exist in this country of allegedly intelligent and overflowingly charitable humans.
First, recognize the Civil War, our darkest hour, ended in freaking 1865! It's over! We won! The whole country is united now everybody! We're all on the same freaking team now! We are the United States, not the "Rapidly Dividing Factions" made possible by a bunch of demagogues gone rogue on both sides of the aisle, liberals and conservatives who live and die for the endless, adolescent feud fetish that fuels all their works of mayhem. And for what? So that their team can eliminate the other team and like superheroes or NBA Championship winners, conquer and save the world with their agenda? Might look good on paper, but what is the agenda! It appears that right now, and for too many years, the agenda of both parties is to engage in relentless campaigns of demonization with the sole intention of ensuring their candidates are reelected and thereby propagate their species and, of course, advance closer to their end game, the utter decimation and eventual extinction of the other party. Yeah, that should fix everything. I can't wait for the red team to incarcerate everyone who is not white enough with significantly longer sentences than the genetically-engineered pure whites of science fiction who either play tennis for a couple of weeks at their detainment facility, replete with cable television, WIFI, and all the amenities whites expect in their detention, while the other ethnicities, or even just the economically-challenged who can't afford their very cost-prohibitive attorney's billable seconds, await the next team of rapists to overpower them in the shower of their rat-infested facility.
Likewise, I am thrilled to the point of near full erection at the prospect of the blue team taking charge of our military establishment and defunding all our defenses so that when the Chinese are ready they may fire at will and swiftly defeat all the silly blue teamers whose futile attempt to stay their advance with super soakers purchased at Walmart will prove no match for the foreign aggressors' superior might and far more pragmatic decision making abilities.
Just to emphasize the urgent need for the most powerful, most advanced military force ever assembled to deal with the ever-looming threat of China, it is worth noting that every computer simulation of warfare the U.S. has conducted has proven China could kick all our asses since they win all the simulations. But the Chinese may not need to overwhelm us with the greatest, swarming, heavily weaponized drones imaginable, since they have already taken a very impressive interest in our food supply as evidenced by their obsessive pastime of buying our farms. Perhaps they intend to add more nutrients to our overly processed food? At least they did not acquire the invincible stranglehold they would have been gifted by a truly insane contract that would have made them the manufacturers and, as an added bonus, god-like controllers of our entire telecommunications network. But this contract or deal was pre-apocalypse, before the greatest humanitarian in the world took control of our government and, like anyone caught in the throes of a narcissistic rage, made good on his vow to exact his vengeance on all the agencies he despised. But rather than avail himself of the proper legal avenues, assuming there was any grievance to redress, this five-year-old, rampaging child started dismantling the foundations of our cherished governmental system, methodically disabling or utterly vaporizing the very checks and balances that separate us from all the other disheveled, morally bereft, oppressive regimes that, for obvious reasons, despise our elections and our exponentially more equitable, humane way of doing things, in fact, criminally working toward the insurgent, unspeakably decadent goal of devolving our blessed homeland in what seems to many, both left and right, an unquestionably demented effort to clone their regime model of governance. These threats from abroad are actually the reason I considered the possibility that our current president might be the "right" aggressor to deal with these aggressors abroad. Let's hope someone else will fit the bill very soon.
Now, keeping in mind the Civil War ended a very long time ago and we are in fact all united as Americans, we cannot ignore the other fact that even united people, even blood related family members, have different ideas about how to address our surplus of issues. While not putting an end to conflict and heated debate, the realization that we are all ultimately on the same team with one American agenda can help our cause invaluably by opening our eyes to what really should be the abundantly obvious fact that when the red team scores a win so does every American, including the blue team, and vice versa. We need to distance ourselves from the notion that we must have two teams for our imaginary Superbowl. This is typical sports culture ideology, the need for our victory to involve some organic opponents who have been defeated, rather than merely lifeless issues of policy, incapable of appreciating how they have been owned like bitches and hos. Nothing wrong with sports, but a conscientious government body should not be operating under the same protocols as the NFL.
Also, we must do what we can to wipe our brains of this absurd, adolescent, sci-fi scenario that insists we have been cast in another remake of Don Siegel's, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." With this view, the single greatest priority of all our efforts, beyond making any significant contributions or accomplishing anything of merit, is the life-threatening terror that, as observed earlier, our team must occupy every seat of every branch of government or else perish beneath the chariots of the foolishly misguided members of the other team whose agenda we perceive as direly opposed to ours, and who consistently mirror us in our obstinate refusal to discuss, negotiate, and compromise in the same manner that very small children do all the time.
This inexcusable rift has made all meaningful and productive communication come to a standstill and is at the core of our partisan politics crisis. It must be remedied as soon as possible. As long as the checks and balances are in place, or sadly at this moment hastily re-established, we really don't need to occupy every seat in the government. I'm not sure that would even be healthy.
What we desperately need is to immediately cease and desist our death grip on the impressively infantile, utterly erroneous belief that we are two opposing teams participating in an athletic competition. It wasn't always like this, believe it or not. Our two parties have always had their friction, of course, and even their share of trash talk, especially at their silly circus style conventions, but in truth, we have managed for decades beyond counting to be a bipartisan partnership. As proof, I offer the excellent example of George Bush Sr. and his steadfast alliance and deep affinity with Jimmy Carter, who Bush actually said is his favorite president. Here are three excerpted paragraphs from Copilot Search and also a link to the full article which serves as irrefutable testimony that this political thesis is not an exercise in theoretical concepts with no basis in fact. These are not fanciful, idealistic notions that will never be realized. Everyone who lives in America, at this time when it seems like both parties have regressed to their toddler sensibilities and determined that their team is the best, most awesome team and the other team has cooties, should read this article, an eye-opening account of our two sides working as allies in a spirit of cooperation and goodwill, nigh extinct in our present circumstance, that every American should be reading and studying right now. It demonstrates the vital necessity for a governing body that is not comprised of hand-picked sycophants who do a master's bidding.
[Beginning of Copilot Search Excerpt]
Why George H.W. Bush Sought Jimmy Carter’s Advice
During the George H.W. Bush administration, the elder Bush sought advice from Jimmy Carter primarily because of their shared values, mutual respect, and complementary leadership styles — especially in foreign policy.
Shared values and leadership style
Both presidents were born-again Christians and Southern Baptists, which shaped their approach to governance. This “evangelical” style emphasized moral leadership, a strong role for the presidency in global affairs, and a focus on faith-based principles in decision-making. Bush admired Carter’s integrity and respect for the office, and Carter respected Bush’s willingness to provide him with national security briefings after his presidency, which is rare among former presidents Today."
Mutual respect and personal rapport
Bush called Carter “my favorite president” in part because Carter treated him with dignity and respect after leaving office. This personal rapport made it easier for Bush to consult him on sensitive matters. Carter, in turn, valued Bush’s leadership and was willing to offer counsel on issues where their approaches aligned.
[End of Copilot Search Excerpt]
I knew that during his administration Bush had consulted Carter for advice, which considerably increased my respect for Bush, but I didn't know the extent of their political partnership, and certainly had no idea that anyone on planet earth besides me, least of all a Republican, said Carter is his favorite president. This harmonious collaboration is how things were back then and how they should be again. These guys said what they had to say to get elected, but then after the election they became Americans again with an American agenda.
When our current president won his first election I didn't hope he would fail, I hoped he would do good things. But when Obama won, the current president expressed the very immature view that he hoped Obama's policies would fail. That is the sports mentality gone rogue, with its dictum that you must at all times crap all over the other team. This, of course, is not standard behavior for most sports fans who conduct themselves with at least a modicum of civility. But at its ridiculous extreme we have fans from one team assaulting the fans from the other team for committing the outrageous offense of cheering for their team and appallingly representing their players with the accoutrements fans typically wear at sporting events in a display of solidarity that fans worldwide are famous for displaying.
All of us need to run as far away from this mindset as our Nikes, or possibly New Balance footwear, will take us, and embrace the much healthier and so much more productive attitude of bipartisanship that is not only politically advantageous for both parties, but also recognizes the self-evident truth that we're all on the same team and must pool all our intelligence and knowledge to deal with some of the other teams out there who have more drones than we do.
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